I'm Gonna

Clean Your Room!

I'm not sure when it happened but at some point in my life "I'm Gonna" became the two words to mean "I'm not going to do" whatever it prefaces.  I don't think I'm special this way, I think that "I'm Gonna" happens to everyone.  When we are young, "I'm Gonna" always means exactly "I am going to do that!",  A child who yells to Mom "I'm gonna go down the block" is gone in a second out the door and down the block.  Those two words to a child are a promise that action is about to occur.  "I'm gonna' ride that bike" and just as surely the bike is ridden, in the beginning - those words mean exactly what they are supposed to.
 A child who says "one day I'm gonna" believes exactly that and is motivated into action to achieve something great.

I think the meaning of the words start to change somewhere around our teenage years. When I yelled to my daughter "CLEAN YOUR ROOM" her response would come floating down the stairs "I'm gonna" ...and somehow I just knew in my heart that the room would remain uncleaned.  This is true for walking the dog, doing the homework and every other thing that was scheduled to be done.  I realize that the words "I'm gonna" from my teen means that I'm GOING to HAVE to double check that action occurred, in fact, this also applys to the husband as well.  Now as an adult I realize I hear it all around me but from other adults who really have no intention of doing anything at all.  I also realize that when I ask "Did you?" and get the angry response "I'm gonna" what is really meant is "I was going to but didn't and will get to it when I can".

Get your work out on Girl!

Think about it..how many times have you heard the words (or even said them)..."I'm gonna lose 30 pounds this year...I'm gonna quit smoking...I'm gonna join a gym, make more time for me, so on and so on..." The 'I'm Gonna' list grows and grows with very little getting accomplished.  I believe that only those who actually set real goals without prefacing them with I'M GONNA are the ones who will actually make things happen.  Sadly those adults are few and far between, the majority of us are just 'gonna'.  "I'm gonna" is the easy excuse to get out of committing to action.  Once the words are said you and those around you believe that a future action may take place, although YOU and I secretly know deep down inside nothing is going to happen.

The most curious thing about life is not the way we play with words and say things we don't mean but that we let things pile up.  Not just chores, but phone calls to friends or people we love, visits and vacations we've 'been meaning to take', thank you's and kindness we intend to extend, promises and goals all just pile up around us.  One day we find we have run out of the opportunity to make good on the promise of "I'm Gonna".

At a funeral I recently attended the priest made a point of saying it's not the year you were born or the day that you died that matters...the most important part of someones life is THE DASH.  He was referring to the time in between those two dates, which on a headstone or a memorial become only a single line, a dash.  Curiously, I want my 'dash' to be filled with things I've accomplished not wasted on empty "I'm Gonna's".  Sounds good in theory but in practice, well - I've an awful habit of saying "I'm gonna" with my too full plate of life and very little free time set aside for me - it may almost be hopeless.  However, every bad habit can be broken but it has to start with me, taking the first step forward to a more active approach to life and hanging up my easy answer of "I'm Gonna".

Go On with your Bad Self!